WK 15: Designing my life

Thinking about my future is so disgusting to me, but I know that I have to do it now.  I don’t like thinking about the future, because to be honest, I don’t see myself living passed 23 because of all of the health problems that I have, which should be sad to think about, but I’m not really sad about it?  Anyway, I know what I want to be when I grow up.  I hope that I can make this happen.  Something very traumatic happened to me when I was younger, my parents still do not know about it.  It’s something that I went through alone and it happened for an entire year.  For this, I want to be a psychologist.  I want to be able to help children who either went through what I did, or went through anything else that could be considered traumatic.

Not only do I want to help children, I want to help adults too.  I am still not over what happened to me when I was younger, to this day I am still hurt and still cry about it once in a blue moon.  I know how bad it could hurt to go through something like that.  I want to be able to be there for someone, and just be that person that no one was for me because I didn’t tell anyone until recently.

If I cannot be a regular psychologist, I want to be a school psychologist.  I can’t really say that I’ve ever experienced bullying.  Guys teased me at school for being gay, but I really didn’t care at all, so it’s really hard to consider that being “bullied”.  In a way, it is, but if I don’t really care about what they are saying to me and it doesn’t affect me emotionally, so I can’t really victimize myself.  Although I’ve never experienced bullying first-hand, I am very aware that bullying is alive and well.  Bullying is one of the main reasons teenagers feel the need to cut their lives short.  Some not thinking about the effects that it could have on their families.  I want to be there for those children.  It took so much out of me not to do that to myself after what happened to me happened because I felt so used and so disgusting.  I lived, so should everyone else.

Another one of my very unrealistic dreams is being a singer.  I have loved singing ever since I was a little kid.  I can sing pretty well, but definitely not well enough to be famous for it.  I always dream about performing for an audience.  I think I started loving to sing because my best friend is so good at it.  She makes me want to just sing with her for the rest of my life.  Here’s a picture of us.  It’s actually her birthday tomorrow!

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WK 15: Classmate Conversation

This is Diana!  She is a first year at CSULB.  How cute!  She’s the most adorable little freshman ever.  She went to Narbonne high school, which is near Ontario which is why I know nothing about it.  Her school is/was mostly known for their football team.  Diana used to play volleyball and track in high school, and I played volleyball so we had that in common.  Diana has an older sister, I have two older sisters and one older brother; we’re both the babies of the family.  Diana was a marine biology major, but she is thinking about switching to mechanical engineering.  Diana lives by Space Ex, which is crazy because that’s where my brother works.  What a small world.  Diana likes to pass by buildings because it just makes her happy how tall buildings can be.  Diana does not have any pets, which makes me sad because I am the father of a baby puppy and I love her to death.  I want everyone to experience that kind of love.  Also, her favorite color is light green.  I’m glad I chose her to be my final classmate conversation of the semester because she was the cutest person ever!

WK 14: Art Activity

This art activity had to have been my favorite ones so far.  This was so relaxing to just sit at the sculpture garden and sketch for a while.  These were the two drawings that I felt the most comfortable with.  I have never been to the Japanese sculpture garden, so this atmosphere was so new to me and I loved every minute of it.  I truly enjoyed myself and thought that sketching nature felt so pure and relaxing.  I really needed that.  I am so busy with my life and everything that is going on with it, I needed to take the time to appreciate Earth.  I loved this project more than any other project we’ve ever done.   I think the thirty second sketches were hilarious because I really tried to do everything in thirty seconds or less and the five minute drawing I actually tried so hard which is sad because it looks HORRIBLE.  This was such an experience.

WK 14: Classmate conversation

This is Michael.  Michael was so chill, he was very easy to talk to.  Michael is a psychology major and is a senior at CSULB.  How exciting!  He’s graduating this semester.  That makes me so happy, I cannot wait until it’s my turn.  Michael has two younger sisters, he is the oldest.  He’s very protective over them.  Michael loves to play and watch sports.  He is mostly interested in basketball and baseball because that’s what he played in high school.  He went to Los Alamitos when he was in high school.  I remember taking my SAT at Los Alamitos and that school was so damn beautiful.  Michael has worked in an animal hospital for three years because he loves animals.  He used to have a dog named Tommy, but unfortunately he passed away.  Michael was very easy to talk to, I really enjoyed his company.

WK 13: Artist Conversation

The girl I chose to do an artist conversation with is named Lena Bishop.  Lena is so cute and so interesting.  We had no awkward pauses when I was interviewing her.  She’s in her fourth year at CSULB and is excited to be out in the real world.  She is twenty-four years old and she was raised in Long Beach, California.  She grew up knowing she was going to be an artist.

Lena’s father was an artist himself, so that is where she got her inspiration from.  Her father always taught her things about art at such a young age, so this is what she’s used to.  She’s used to putting effort into the work she creates and is used to loving everything she does.  She claims that art is her entire life, she expresses herself through her artwork.  She likes when people create stories out of her artwork and likes to compare it to what her story actually is.

Lena told me that she would never even think about giving up until her dreams are met.  She wants her pieces to someday be in a really famous art show.  She wants to travel the world because of her art and she wants everyone to see her art.  She wants people to appreciate her artwork the way she appreciates her own artwork.  In her gallery, she posted her best pieces as a CSULB student and hopes that the people who look through the gallery enjoys them.  Lena is also very passionate about animation.

Lena believes that it is magical to “create a world and have others love it too.  To bring a drawing to life a character, a layout.. and for them  to move! It’s amazing!”.  She is so passionate about her artwork and it just makes me so happy.  Lena claims that she wants nothing more, but to create and help create a world in which she understands others and love.  She was such a sweetheart, I loved listening to her speak.  I also loved that she had a notebook in front of her artwork and wrote “Please leave comments, I appreciate feedback”.  It was so cute, I had to write something nice in there.

WK 13: Classmate Conversation

This is Moreen.  Moreen is so interesting to me, I have never met anybody who is from another country and she was born in France.  How exotic!  Moreen is a declared child development major and is planning on either double majoring or minoring in psychology depending on how hard the pre-requistites are.  Moreen speaks three different languages: French, English and Cambodian.  That is so crazy!  I even made her tell me some things in those languages.  In her free time, she likes to go to the beach because she’s still not really used to them.  She also likes to hike and eat.  She loves watching Netflix and says we have a lot more of a selection that she’s used to.  Her favorite color is black.  Moreen was so interesting to talk to!

Week 12: Artist Conversation

It makes me sad that every artist that I feel a connection to their artwork is literally never there to explain anything to me first hand.  This artists name is Laura Lopez and her artwork really spoke to me.  This was such a beautiful gallery, I really fell in love with it.

Laura explores how pattern and color function as structural elements to build imagery and composition, and construct a visual narrative about the natural world.  Her paintings are absolutely beautiful.  She uses linear structures to express the idea of organic growth in natural ecosystems such as the jungle and or other wild life locations.

I love how she perceives the jungle as her true home.  She believes that it’s the space from where she comes from and where her roots are planted.  She sees this bond as a metaphor that supports her creative life acting as an “inner force towards growth”.  The paintings she made of the wild forests are representations of that metaphor and bring a visualization into the world.  That is what she was trying to show us with her beautiful artwork.

I loved this art more than any other gallery, I know that’s not really nice to say, but it’s the truth.  It was so Nature-y and just so beautiful.  Personally, I love nature.  I love being in the outdoors and exploring new things.  This really just reminded me of myself.  The way she feels about nature is the exact same way that I feel about nature.